Three hundred years ago, when my husband and I were “just boyfriend and girlfriend”, we would gab all night and day about our future together. Of course we did- almost all couples do. One of
my our favorite topics was dreaming about what our possible children might be like. Would they have dark eyes like mine? Or his amazing shade of blue. For the record, one has brown and the other’s are gold/hazel. What would their names be? We didn’t use ANY of the names we thought we would when it came down to it. And most importantly, what would they BE like? Would they be funny? Shy? Kind? Artsy? Sporty? Musical?
As a former high school quarterback (apparently, he was a big deal. k?) , my then future husband was certain that whoever his son was- he would first of all be, an athlete. So when we were told our first baby was a boy, my husband, naturally, shouted with joy during the sonogram. We thought our boy would grow to love sports like his daddy. That he would live and breathe baseball, football, basketball. We thought our son would be the star of the field.
We were wrong.
My son is not a sports-crazed, ball obsessed, athlete my husband had created in his mind. While my son has expressed some interest in perfecting his baseball talents, he is far from a fanatic. Instead, he is someone so much better than we could have ever imagined.
The only reason my boy son plays baseball is to spend time with his friends. The other boys are busy cheering on their teammates, scuffling to catch the ball, riding the ups and downs of the game seeking validation in each other. Meanwhile, my son is on the bench, lecturing about the latest Google creation. Instead, he would much rather be reconfiguring a laptop, solving your phone’s latest glitch or watching a YouTube review of IOS 13 (14? I don’t know which one we are on). And you know what?
That’s just fine.
My son has had an engineer’s brain since day one. When he was about 10 months old, I remember watching him study the wheels of his toy cars to figure out how they spin. Taking things apart just to see what is inside, and putting it back together perfectly is much more his vibe.
He craves music he loves, listening to his favorite songs on max volume and drumming along. With the music on full blast, he delights in feeling the bass shake the floor. He loves to put together playlists, and play “DJ” for himself or a crowd.
His love for technology started from the beginning. I know, most children today love electronics. But while he does enjoy playing video or computer games, he is more interested in the retrospective features in any and all technology he runs across. The kid is seven, and our families seek him out to unravel their latest technological issue.
For some time, my husband struggled with this. At first I thought it might be that my husband was having issues with accepting who he is. But, my husband is an amazing father in every way. He loves our son with every fiber of his being. I realized it is merely a clash of separate interests. There are times I have to remind my husband to let up with sports pressure, but, to be fair- I also have to remind my husband to throw his dirty socks in the laundry room instead.
When he was about two or three I asked him what he would be when he grows up. I knew he did not understand the question, but what he said blew my mind. He just stared at me, and then pointed to his chest. He replied “I am just going to be Momma. I’m gonna be Liam”. What more could I ask for?
No, he might not be who we imagined so many years ago- he’s more. So much more.